White Guy With Dreadlocks Saves Tons of Money on Lightbulbs By Switching to Lava Lamps


With our economy showing no true signs of inclination, it truly takes its heaviest toll on the middle class. The rich continue to get richer while the poor get poorer, but 22-year-old Graham Sheffield isn’t going down without a fight.

Sheffield recently saved a fuck ton of money by completely cutting light bulbs out of the equation and only using lava lamps as a source of illumination. “Having lava lamps is pretty cool. It’s like owning a fish tank without fish but the blobs can be like a pet in a way if you think about them like that it’s sweet,” said Sheffield after ripping a bong hit large enough to sedate a full grown Tiger.

“Not only do the lava lamps give off a very I-am-unemployed ambiance, but they also really set the mood while you watch and over-analyze the movie Pulp Fiction in a way that regular light bulbs just can’t.” Graham’s ingenious idea is helping save his parents $2.17 every two months, which totals out to a whopping $13.02 a year.

Going off of the fact that his dream job is to be the lead singer for the band Sublime, we assume Graham will be living at home for the next 12 years which adds up to him saving his parents $156.24. Yes, you read that number correctly. Imagine having that kind of financial leeway, early retirement anyone? Sheffield’s idea has put him into a new tax bracket allowing him the ability to afford things he could not before, like the koi fish tattoo he just got done on his left calf and also an insane amount of Doritos.

“I’ve always wanted to try the spicy nacho flavor, but I love cool ranch so much. Now with my newly found financial freedom I’m in a position where I can afford both.” You can call Graham Sheffield a genius, you can call him an innovator, but just don’t call him before 1 p.m. because he is definitely still sleeping.

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