Traffic Report: Woman Driving Pickup Truck Probably Does Anal

Clear skies and dry weather indicate great driving conditions today on U.S Highway 19, and traffic is at a bare minimum while black men are barely jay walking.

One thing that has stuck out today though was a woman making a U-turn, popping up onto the curb of the median and cutting off oncoming traffic. This stuck out not because the illegality of the move, but more because she was a woman driving a 1998 Ford F-150 meaning that she definitely does anal.

The woman was seen smoking a pall mall cigarette while sporting the same exact haircut Dog The Bounty Hunter has which helped assist in the assumption that second base for her involves some type of butt play. Her truck bed contained a rusting folding chair along with a plethora of empty bud light cans, which we assume were used as lube when she got her south mouth pounded by some guy probably named Rick who most likely has a scar on his body that he got from drunkenly crashing his dirt bike.

While making the U-turn the woman gave off a very strong vibe that she not only knows how to operate the tilt-a-whirl at the town fair, but also that her butthole constantly looks as if it is yawning. Is it harsh to assume that just because a dingy woman is driving a pickup truck that she enjoys getting her brown eye punched? Probably. But are we probably correct on that assumption? Absolutely, no ands, ifs, or butts about it.

About Zac Townsend
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