Steve Watson joined one of the many women’s marches that took place worldwide on Saturday, helping strengthen the voice of women everywhere who want everyone to know that they plan on fighting back against oppression. Watson said that he felt strongly about participating as he treasures the women in his family deeply, thinks equal pay is long overdue, and hasn’t gotten laid since Gangnam Style was still getting radio play.
“I didn’t just go to the protests to get laid, I’m not a savage. I just thought that chanting ‘Her body, her choice’ for three hours would have helped me more in that department. I always get excited to help my female counterparts get the justice they deserve, but a guy has needs that wearing a vagina hat won’t solve.”
After getting taunted by hats and full-fledged vagina costumes referencing the president’s comments to one of the Bush’s that really doesn’t matter, Watson started getting dizzy, with his desperation driving him to see double vision of being in a long-term relationship and enjoying it.
“I may not be George Clooney or a guy who wears leather in any type of weather, but I have biological needs too. I just don’t know how holding up a picture of Rosie the Riveter until the sweatstains on my tie-dye shirt looked like a Rembrandt painting didn’t help me at all.”
It turns out being empathetic with the opposite gender really ramps up the sexual appetite, but now that he’s come to terms with his fate, chances are Steve Watson won’t be needing a fork and a knife for his special showing of Brazzers Presents later this evening.