Edge Of Coffee Table Verbally Torn To Shreds After Toe Stubbing

Keeping a calm, cool, mahogany head is something nobody would expect from the edge of a coffee table. The shocking display of patience was put on in the Gray’s living room on Tuesday, after Todd (father of 3, husband of 1) suffered a second degree toe-stubbing on his trek back to the couch from the microwave.

Hot pocket in hand, Todd Gray made his way back to the couch, where he planned on spending the next several hours. Not paying attention to his footwork, he inadvertently stubbed his smallest toe on the edge of the coffee table.

Todd and the edge of the coffee table were said to have had prior “beef” when Todd slammed his foot against it a few weeks earlier, but could not let out his true emotions due to his in-laws being in attendance. This stubbing was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

With no guests at the house, Todd erupted like everyone had been waiting for him to since finding out his middle son (Hunter) is gay. “You son of a fucking bitch!!” is just one of the lesser graphic phrases Todd violently uttered. He was also seen dropping to his stomach, getting eye-level with the edge of the coffee table, and pointing directly at it letting it know that “it doesn’t appreciate any of the shit he does for it,” and although he was inches away in the confrontation, no punches were thrown.

“Todd just snapped the way his gay son does after making a sassy comment. We’ve had a few run-ins before on drunk nights, but it’s never gotten this bad. I just hope he didn’t mean what he said,” explained the edge of the coffee table. No word yet on if and when the standard apology will be given; we just hope it’s before Todd finds out his daughter’s new boyfriend is black.

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