Couple Skips Therapy to Bury Lifeless Marriage in Indian Burial Ground

All marriages have their ups and downs, with some couples attempting to work out their issues by going to counseling, and others choosing to spend that money more wisely by buying enough bondage equipment to require a three-syllable safe word.

Dave and Jessica Rodgers resorted to more extreme measures however, by flaking on their scheduled appointment with Dr. Julie Bettman to drive straight to the closest Indian burial ground to reinvigorate their lifeless marriage.

“We’ve tried everything. We want this to work, but if putting it in after calling her a ‘bad girl’ doesn’t do the trick then we have no other choice but to put this thing in the ground next to some feathers and arrowheads,” explained a reckless Dave Rodgers.

Getting the magic in the bedroom back after utilizing the powers of the site where Chief Tryfellatio lies is the goal, but Jessica Rodgers has her doubts.

“Even if this does work, who knows what will come out of that ground? It might look like our marriage, but it could be possessed by an evil spirit that requires kids to keep this thing together. Hopefully it arises with a better-paying job for Dave or at least plane tickets to Paris, but it could also climb out with tickets to Jimmy Buffett for the fourth year in a row.”

There’s no telling how this instance of thinking outside the box will turn out, but hopefully this tactic will lead to the couple finding the meaning of true happiness, or at least cause Dave to realize that Jessica isn’t referring to a type of seafood when she says they should try cunnilingus.

About Colin Means
Eloquent drunk-texter

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